I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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