thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
