Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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