Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Drake has all the answers
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
