the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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