Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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