Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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