Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
