I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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