I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize