I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it glows. i had to have it.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
