In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize