She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
