This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
pray to the hookup gods
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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