if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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