i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
