he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
