I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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