I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
