Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we made out on top of his cat.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
