Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize