he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you had me at cake vodka
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
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