I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
