You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
