What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
