I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
