Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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