I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
