yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
