what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
