how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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