where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize