Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
