i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize