you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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