Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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