Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize