Kareoke will never be a sober sport
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
nutella sex= disaster
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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