You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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