ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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