It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
