So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize