i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
