i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
