The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
