i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
