I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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