He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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