i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
