I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
