just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
