I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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