oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize