oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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