sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
