I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
