I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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