i think i have two assholes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
