were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
