there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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