If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
