Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
