I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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