You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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