Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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