My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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