My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
