There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
