you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
