How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
