Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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