i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
