i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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