we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
