its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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