I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
