I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
