if you like me you must not know who I am
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
