I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
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