69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
