seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
